A GUIDE TO SELF-SOLEMNIZATION; HOW TO MARRY YOURSELVES

Did You Know You Can Marry Yourselves Without an Officiant or Witnesses?

Imagine a wedding ceremony that is truly yours — no officiant, no witnesses, just you and your partner in a moment of untainted and genuine connection. This unique experience is possible through a process known as self-solemnization.

What is Self-Solemnization?

Self-solemnization is the act of self-uniting, or performing your own wedding ceremony, leaving behind any interference from a religious or governmental third-party figure. Under this concept, you and your partner are left with the freedom to perform your own marital ceremony in a way that is deeply reflective of your relationship, free from external influences.

Understanding the Details

While the idea of self-solemnization is liberating, it’s important to be aware of certain legal caveats regarding this process. The primary factor to consider is location, as self-solemnization is only legally recognized in specific states and jurisdictions.

• District of Columbia and Colorado: Both are highly sought-after, and easily the most ideal destinations for self-solemnization. This is largely due to the fact that there are little to no restrictions in candidacy. In these regions, couples simply need to apply for, complete, and file a marriage license with the County Clerk and Recorder’s office. The ease and convenience of planning a self-uniting ceremony in these locations translates over from the actual experience, and all the way into the legal side of things as well.

The following states also permit self-solemnization, though each has its own set of rules and regulations:

• Pennsylvania: Pennsylvania law dictates that two consenting people can marry under the guise of self-solemnization, but they must have two witnesses present during the time of signing of the marriage license.

https://www.legis.state.pa.us/cfdocs/legis/LI/consCheck.cfm?txtType=HTM&ttl=23&div=0&chpt=15

• Illinois: People who will be married within the compliance of various religious and/or Indigenous ceremonies are granted the opportunity to self-unite, but only under these principles will a self-uniting marriage be legally recognized.

https://www.ilga.gov/legislation/ilcs/ilcs4.asp?ActID=2086&ChapterID=59&SeqStart=900000&SeqEnd=3000000

• Maine: Maine will acknowledge self-uniting ceremonies as valid and true if you are a follower of the Quaker religion, and the ceremony pertains to the guidelines set forth by that particular faith.

https://www.maine.gov/portal/residents/marriage.html

• Wisconsin: In Wisconsin, the legislature upholds the right couples reserve to marry themselves in place of an officiant or someone with equivalent authority, given the couple signs a form stating that they are in full understanding that the government can not assure the couple’s self-solemnized ceremony will be recognized in all possible scenarios.

https://docs.legis.wisconsin.gov/statutes/statutes/765/16

• California: California has created a separate marriage license application for “non-clergy” marriages, which are referred to as the License and Certificate of Marriage for Denominations Not Having Clergy. This type of marriage license still warrants that the couple must obtain two witness signatures to validate the marriage.

https://www.cdph.ca.gov/programs/chsi/cdph%20document%20library/chsi-californiamarriagelicenseregistrationandceremonyinfo-2017.pdf

• Nevada: People who identify under the ‘Quaker’ or ‘Friends’ faith are permitted to perform self-solemnized marriages under Nevada law.

https://www.leg.state.nv.us/nrs/nrs-122.html

• Kansas: Similarly to the rules of Nevada and Maine, Kansas will only recognize the marriage of two people who self-marry if they adhere to the customs and regulations pertaining to certain religious affiliations.

http://www.kslegislature.org/li_2012/b2011_12/statute/023_000_0000_chapter/023_025_0000_article/023_025_0004_section/023_025_0004_k/

How to Plan a Self-Uniting Ceremony

To begin planning your self-uniting ceremony, first, verify the legal requirements in your chosen location. A quick call to the County Clerk’s office will clarify any jurisdiction-specific regulations. Confirming these rules and regulations directly from the source before your wedding day is a great way to bypass any misunderstanding that could hinder the legality of your marriage. Once you have ensured compliance with local laws, you can focus on crafting a ceremony that is uniquely yours.

Consider the elements you wish to include in your ceremony: personalized vows, meaningful readings, music, or even symbolic rituals. Whether you choose to invite family or keep the moment entirely private, the day should reflect your shared values and vision.

If you’re traveling to your ceremony destination, plan ahead to ensure you have everything you need, from travel accommodations to wedding attire. Don’t forget to apply for your marriage license within the appropriate time frame — generally no more than 90 days before your ceremony, and no less than one week in advance.

What If Self-Solemnization Isn’t Legal in My Destination?

If your chosen location does not permit self-solemnization, consider alternative options that still honor the spirit of your commitment. Many couples opt for a legal ceremony at home, followed by a symbolic or commitment ceremony in their dream destination. This allows you to experience the joy and intimacy of your wedding day without having to worry about various legal constraints.

A commitment ceremony can include all the elements of a traditional wedding, minus the legal formalities. This option provides flexibility — you can choose to complete the legal aspect before, after, or not at all, depending on your preferences. There is an ever-growing list of reasons why one may want to skip the legal formalities surrounding marriage, but still want to honor and celebrate their love accordingly – and that’s okay.

Do I Have to Elope to Self-Marry?

Self-solemnization is often associated with the freedom of eloing, but it’s not a requirement. You can choose to self-marry in a traditional wedding setting or during a private elopement — the decision is entirely yours.

The beauty of modern marriage lies in the freedom to design a ceremony that truly represents your partnership. While we’ve come a long way in marriage equality, there is still progress to be made. By supporting the right to choose how we define our marital experiences, you’re opening the doorway for positive changes to continually unfold.

Need Assistance with Your Self-Uniting Ceremony?

As a dedicated Destination Wedding & Elopement Photographer, I’m here to guide you through the intricacies of planning your self-uniting ceremony. The process can feel overwhelming, but with the right support and detailed planning, we can bring your vision to life.

If you’re ready to start this journey together, fill out this form to schedule a consultation. Let’s explore your story and craft a day that you’ll cherish forever.